is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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