i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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