Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1160) Bad night (2790)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

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  (248): don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag. http://tfl.nu/8xve
  Replies (6) Good night (3573) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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  (662): Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45. http://tfl.nu/maq6
  Replies (40) Good night (6333) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7268) Bad night (719)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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  (631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5
  Replies (9) Good night (2570) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1654) Bad night (2433) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

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  (281): Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/z4q3
  Replies (7) Good night (1255) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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  (608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74
  Replies (5) Good night (1715) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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  (831): YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL. http://tfl.nu/sk5h
  Replies (21) Good night (1622) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1633) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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  (484): Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME" http://tfl.nu/xsgw
  Replies (6) Good night (526) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.

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  (607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/mq74
  Replies (14) Good night (2196) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.

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  (502): Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high. http://tfl.nu/rams
  Replies (0) Good night (792) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

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  (218): My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing http://tfl.nu/4jwd
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.

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  (316): Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift. http://tfl.nu/rzzb
  Replies (2) Good night (186) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt

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