I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize