hotel room ftw
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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