This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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