and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
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What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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