It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize