YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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