I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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