I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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