standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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