omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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