its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize