People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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