His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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