I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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