It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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