I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Say something about gay babies.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just invented taco cereal.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize