see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
how does that bad decision feel?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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