everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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