theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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