wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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