Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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