We're facebook friends in real life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Couch. On fire.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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