Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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