She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize