Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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