i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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