Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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