you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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