just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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