u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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