they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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