I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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