I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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