they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize