you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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