Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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