and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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