Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize