there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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