i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
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Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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