...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize