you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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