Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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