Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
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This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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