You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize