I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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