you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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